Tag: teens

Depression

Depression is a life journey… tomorrow will be a better day…

LucyLu
Family: childhood

I dread living in the past or thinking of the past as it often brings me to tears. This is always the moment that I realize I still have a lot of healing to do and that is okay.

Let me state I have actually done a lot of work on myself through therapy, meditation, yoga, essential oils and so forth… it all works together and YES there will be those days or months or years that you just get caught in that cycle of trauma. That is okay, as our tool box of strategies will pull you out of that dark hole. Once you believe in yourself and love YOU that gets you through those dark moments.

This is the song and dance we do from time to time and what helps me get through it is the confidence in myself and my positive self talk.

During these moments: I step outside in my bare feet and step on the cold floor and feel all the sensations. I then affirm the love I have to be alive, to see the blue skys, to hear the sounds of the birds… this grounds me. In this moment I am able to shift my thoughts to positivity and use my strategies to get me out of this gloomy feeling.

I MYSELF have many disappointments in all areas, my own deep traumas but I know they do not define me but are my journey and success to overcoming those moments and individuals!

We live in a place where there are triggers everywhere, so acknowledging those feelings as I have done today, deal with those feelings and move along for the day.

Today I decided to share within the moment, of my sadness and how I work it through without much of the details, which I will share with you… along the way of our journey together.

My line of work was no mistake for me and I made an oath to aways do this work through love and not through my own experiences, as no one situation is the same. We may connect through a similar event but the strategy and feelings will be different.

Though I have my studies, my own struggle through this life journey is what helped me connect genuinely and try to understand the walks of others. It has made me be able to always check my own emotions surfacing when working with young people and to listen to their stories.

Never underestimate your knowledge, wisdom and impact you have of those that cross your path. A caring gesture truly goes a long way.

  • The earth was my grounding, positive affirmations and meditation music.
  • A show of the jungle and connecting to the sounds of the animal kingdom helped me smile and know it will be a better day tomorrow.
  • Reading blogs of others on WordPress helped me connect with others with similar stories.
  • A favourite cup of coffee, some banana bread and alone time.
  • I placed all my diffusers on with lavender, 🍋, 🍊, and bergamot.

I hope this finds someone having a sad day and that these strategies may help you through today!

“Everyday brings new discoveries” unknown

“My future days of this weekend: have a daily walk, take a photo of nature and smile at a stranger! “ Lucylu

Calmness is a huge gift. And once you master it, you will be able to respond in a useful way to every difficult situation that decides to walk into your heart!

With Love đź’• ,

Lucylu

Coping through holidays/celebrations

Reflect, Connect, Laugh and help others…

LucyLu

Christmas is here, lights are bright, trees are festive, fires are burning and the smells of chestnuts are everywhere! December is my happiest month and my saddest month.

I love seeing a fresh new snow fall…. it is so beautiful to watch from the bay window and it’s flakes fall onto the tips of the evergreen trees. You hear the birds chirping in the early mornings and you feel the crisp air on your swollen cheeks. The tip of your nose slightly red… just like rudolf! The homes have beautiful decorations, flowers, and props. It just makes you smile as everywhere you go looks so festive. The streets of downtown Toronto are full of people, tourists and seasonal activities! The distillery has the Christmas market and the decorations are stunning. There are such unique shops with artisans creative work that make such great gifts. The smell of hot chocolate is everywhere you walk. You see parents, children, couples and friends stopping to enjoy a drink and some food. You hear chatter and laughter and all is so bright!

“It is a gift to see so many families wrapped up in each other during this holiday season!”

I sit with my eyes close and absorb all the sounds, smells, and conversations. Everyone around gives away free smiles, small conversations and helpful gestures. It is such a beautiful time of the year!

It’s a time many connect with their faith, celebrate and give to their communities! It’s a time of gathering with friends and families. You share food, drinks and memories with all those you love. You take a moment to stop and actually enjoy/share time with those you love. It’s a time we stop work, distractions and actually listen! Children/ youth are playing, sharing and so excited to be around their family & friends. They notice the adults are attentive and not stressed! Music is playing Christmas classics and it’s such a beautiful ring tone to my ears! Christmas movies are on the TV and the Nutcracker is in the theatres again! Christmas has always been a time for families to get together and make new memories.

Though in saying all of the above… December/January is some of the saddest months! As I know there are many people suffering and during these moments becomes a reminder of what they are missing. I have mentioned to you all, I have worked as a Child and Youth Practitioner… so throughout these 27 years I have seen the sadness that is hidden in Ontario.

This article is to provide tools and suggestions to help cope through any difficult moments this holiday season can bring up… and a reminder for those who are much more fortunate to help others.

During these months of December/January is when many children are feeling abandoned as they witness others with families and enjoying dinners at different homes. There are youth in the system that have families that they spend time with but this leaves the homes empty for the others left behind. There are elders that do not have families around anymore, lost loved ones, significant others have passed. We have individuals living on the streets that witness the festivities which reminds them of their situations/loses/loneliness. This is also a time that many services give out meals, clothing, sleeping bags, gifts, groceries, toys and the list just grows! This allows so many individuals to get through the winter months. Please take the time to read these strategies if you are in need, if you are not… please be kind to those in great moods or not… as we do not actually know their struggle! So your smile could actually be saving a life!

Strategies below:

  • Complete a family activity called Worry Dolls. Create a decorated box that will fit wooden popsicle sticks. Now you will need 5 popsicles, some yarn, and a black pen/marker. Some pieces of felt. Create each doll to relate to all of your worries and on the back of your popsicles name your worries. You then place this box under your pillow during the night to help take away your worries. Every night you tell your worry dolls all that has bothered you throughout the day.
  • If you are struggling please call the suicide hotline at 1-833-456-4566 or TEXT: 45645 Also here is the website which has other numbers that you can access:
  • https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/en/
  • Acknowledge your emotions and book a therapy session online or in person. Organize this ahead of time and do not ignore the emotions before it becomes unmanageable.
  • Journal your thoughts, write a love letter to yourself or mail a letter to yourself. The release of words is so powerful.
  • Listen to light calm music.
  • Get outside, move your body, take a break from screen time and take some baths.
  • Engage in deep breathing techniques
  • Make amends with friends and families. Pick your battles and recognize is this fight worth it?
  • If things become unbearable, go to the CAMH emergency hospital. Located at 250 College Street and open 24 hours a day. Their number is 416-979-6885.
  • Link to breathing strategies:
Please share this post with others that may benefit…


Sincerely with love,

LucyLu
Parenting

Being a teen….. how misunderstood we are

LucyLu
img_0360

Well, I vividly remember being a teen and it feels like this was yesterday. The teen years are so complicated, confusing and frustrating! Teens are discovering their identity, creativity, political views, moral stands, exploring their character and so much more! And then… they have a full time job, which is school, where they now meet new adults in charge of them.

Teens now have academics to discover, explore interests, embrace what they are good at, challenge the topics they find difficult… OH and to BOOT get high marks… OH and think of a career! Wow at 14 years old that is actually a lot.

Today, they also have social media to upkeep with and self brand themselves appropriately! THINK for a moment… as a TEEN did we act appropriately, at all times, or better YET what would the public say? In many of the earlier generations it was the community judging us, at such a critical, vulnerable age! Today it is the world.

When teens tell me today, “ Ah adults just do not understand!” I always get a AHAH moment… WHY?… well cause I never believed that adults tried to understand!

This did not happen because parents want to be difficult, or make life HARD for their youth but it is definitely a generation CLASH! At this moment I imagine the waves crashing against the rocks, as it is that dramatic, the impact this has on teens.

Today, teens have so many different issues from when I was growing up. I have often caught myself saying, “ We didn’t do this when we were teens, this generation is a mess.” Well, UNTRUE! All generations have had their ups and downs but what is actually happening is we do not understand the issues going on with this current generation.

So I ask us all to be a positive part of our teens community, to help them ease into this complicated stage in their life.

Learn their world, that means the music, their interest, struggles, LINGO, understand social media and so much more. Be aware of what they are into, teach them about their bodies, managing emotions, help build their confidence, teach them self love, and most important be patient. TOUGH job… but it is very rewarding as well.

My greatest advice, is provide structure to your child since birth, expectations with flexibility, understand their characters, be reasonable and be involved. Do not avoid conversations about sex, teach them about their bodies, relationships, drugs, attending parties, and mental health.

THIS is where it gets TOUGH… BRACE yourself!!

Also, YES, this is something we should be discussing, what is PORN…. I will inform you most of our teens are watching PORN from a young age and getting the wrong messages about sexuality. Our young men, their first exposure to their sexuality is through PORN videos. Our young girls feel pressured to perform, as the women in the PORN industry! I have had many young women speak to me about these concerns. I know these are tough topics, but they must be spoken about. YOU the parents need to become aware! DO NOT SWEAT it I will be recommending two books you should read!

Your child needs all the tools to be successful! If YOU do not teach them, the internet will, or friends and not always getting the correct INFO! Well my dear friends, GUESS what… the uncomfortable topic has come to an end!

Two books I recommend: Girls and Sex (21st century struggles) by Peggy Orenstein, Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein. Direct link to purchase this amazing book! 

“That’s the nature of being a parent, Sabine has discovered. You’ll love your children far more than you ever loved your parents, and – in the recognition that your own children cannot fathom the depth of your love – you come to understand the tragic, unrequited love of your own parents. “

Ursula Hegi

With Love,

LucyLu